Let’s call him Mike…

So by now you probably think I’m a massive slut because all of my stories are about men I’ve slept with. But I’m 19 and in college so get over it.

I’ve been talking to a guy I went to high school with for about a year. And when I say talking, I mean sexting. Like hardcore. I’m talking dick pics and ass pics and tit pics and all kinds of pics. Not to mention the dirtiest talk you could imagine. We never got together to hook up because he has a girlfriend. I feel your judgement.

Yes, I was sexting a guy with a girlfriend. They have been dating for 2 years now. Some relationship they got going. Apparently, he’s done this with other girls, too. His girlfriend saw that he was texting other girls, and she did not like it. Obviously.

So every so often, my text message wouldn’t deliver to him. Or my snapchat to him would say “pending” and a gray arrow would appear. I’d ask him later if he got my message or snapchat, and he would say no. I would say that’s weird, and he would say his phone is fucked up.

But his phone was never fucked up. He blocked my text messages and snapchats whenever he was hanging out with his girlfriend so my name wouldn’t pop up on his phone. What a dick, I know. He lied to me over and over again that his phone was a piece of trash. But he’s the piece of trash.

So I would get mad at him and not talk for a few weeks, but he would text me again and it would all start up again. Then I would get in a mood and tell him what we were doing was wrong and we should stop. So we would stop for a few weeks, then he would text me again later. You see the cycle. This kept going on for a while, but then things changed.

Summer started, and we’re both home from college. A few days ago, I texted him that I wanted to fuck, for real. We always joked about actually doing it, but I was being dead serious. We texted all night about whether or not we should actually do it. But then he drove to my house at 4:00 AM to bone. We went to his house, and we went down the basement. He fingered me and ate me out, and I gave him head. Lots of head. He came on me, then he couldn’t get hard again. So we couldn’t actually fuck. Then he drove me home.

I know what you’re thinking. I’m an awful person for encouraging his cheating. I’m not proud of it at all. I’m embarrassed, really. But it happened. And it was fun. I had been wanting to do it ever since junior year in high school. And it finally happened. It was probably the craziest thing I had ever done. I had snuck out of my house at 4:00 AM, tip-toed into his house, and snuck back into mine at like 5:00 AM. Not to mention it was with a guy who’s in a relationship.

So last night, we were texting again, and I drove over to his house at 3:00 AM. When I got there, he said he had been jerking off and he came, so he was trying to get hard again. I told him to come out to the car and I’d help him, but he didn’t. He said he couldn’t get hard again. So I drove home and snuck back into my room.

I was sad that we didn’t get to bone, and I felt bad in general. I texted him that we shouldn’t keep doing this. He said, “We can still talk, right?”, and I said I didn’t think that was a good idea. He then basically said that we should do whatever is best. What pisses me off the most is that he doesn’t even care. About anything. He doesn’t care that he cheated on his girlfriend. He doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t care that I drove out to see him at 3:00 AM and he rejected me. He doesn’t care if we don’t talk for a while. He just doesn’t care. He’s a scumbag, and I hate him so much.

Sometimes I forget that I deserve better. Smart girls don’t let guys treat them like shit. I guess I’m not a smart girl. I always let guys be dicks to me. It’s really awful, and it needs to stop. I need to practice self-love and shit like that. I need to be better to myself. I’m never anyone’s #1, you know? I’m always the side chick. I want to be the #1 girl. I need to find a good guy.

So that’s my story about Mike. You probably think I’m a bitch slut who needs to calm the fuck down, and you’re partially right. Our whole relationship is really fucked up. We’re both just bad people. Anyways, I feel like shit about the whole thing, and I wish it never happened. Any of it.

xoxo

Oh So College

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s