Let’s call him Sam…

I never had sex in high school. I never even kissed anyone in high school. No one knows that. But that changed my first week of college. I made out with a stranger at a frat, no big deal. Then I made out with another one the next week, and then another, and another. Until I met one guy. We were dancing at his frat and he was funny and cute as hell and we made out (shocker, I know). He was a senior, and I was a little freshman. Let’s call him Sam. I had to leave the party because my friend was yacking. That bitch. Sam took my number, and I took his. I texted him the next day. He wanted to get food that night. I was thrilled. But he didn’t want to take me out to dinner; he wanted to go to the dining hall. Thing is, he didn’t have a dining plan. I was essentially paying for the first date. But it’s whatever! Because I was hanging out with a senior who was interested in me, and that’s all I cared about.

We met outside of my dorm and walked to the dining hall together. And he was being a dick from the start. The conversations were awkward and short, and he kept looking at his phone. So I was ready to be done with this fucking date or whatever it was because he was being rude as shit.

He walked me back to my dorm and asked the long awaited question, “So do you have homework to do, or do you want me to come up?” And guess what I said. I said to come up. Why did I tell him to come up to my dorm? Because I was a dumb horny virgin who wanted to finally get laid by a hot senior. So he came up.

We cuddled and watched Narcos. God, is Narcos boring. I was falling asleep on this asshole while we were watching Pablo fucking Escobar do whatever the fuck he does. Then we started making out, taking off our clothes, yata yata. I asked him if he had a condom. You know what he said? It’s so engraved in my mind that I’m gonna fucking block quote it.

He said, “No. Pull out game?”

I’m just as shocked as you are. So many fucking questions. Question #1: What senior frat guy doesn’t have a condom on him at all times? Question #2: Why wouldn’t he bring a condom if he had the feeling we were gonna do the dirty? Question #3: What was I still doing naked on top of this piece of shit?

But his question didn’t stop me. Don’t worry, I said no to his lovely question of if he can insert his penis into my vagina without a condom and then exit my vag right when he was going to cum. I put on my clothes, went down the fucking hall to my friend’s room, and I asked him for a condom. Then I got my ass back into my room and handed the gentleman the condom. Then he put it right on and stuck it in me.

Let me pause for a second. We did ZERO foreplay. ZERO. And he had no idea I was a virgin. My poor fucking vagina was DRY when that piece of SHIT tried to FUCK me for the very FIRST time in my LIFE. It hurt like a fucking bitch. Needless to say, it didn’t last very long. I don’t think he even finished; he got up, saw the blood, and got the fuck out. “I’ll text you later,” the dimwit said as he kissed me goodbye. That was the last I heard from Sam, and I’m fucking glad.

More questions. Why would he try to fuck me without warming up the oven first? Everyone knows that both parties have to be aroused in order to have a pleasurable experience. What he did benefits no one. It hurt like hell for me, and it probably wasn’t comfortable for him to fuck a dry pussy.

So the BIG question is, was he a virgin? Think about it. Here’s my proof: #1: He didn’t have a condom on him. Most sexually active men carry around condoms. #2: He didn’t know that he had to get me wet before fucking me. I feel like experienced men would try to get the girl wet so it’s a better experience for him and her. #3: He chose a freshman to fuck. That way it wouldn’t be as embarrassing if he wasn’t that experienced. I couldn’t really tell if he was or not, other than the fact that he didn’t get me wet first.

So that’s my theory about Mr. Sam, the asswipe who took my virginity. Though I wouldn’t even call that sex if I was being honest. That was not sex. That was a dude shoving his dick into a dry vag. But that’s my story. Let me know if you think he was a virgin or just an asshole. Or both!


Oh So College


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