Let’s call him Jake…

As I’m recovering from mono and a yeast infection, I think it’s a good time for another story! This story just so happens to be about my second time doing the dirty with a different guy; this time, it went a whole lot better…

So me and my friends were at a frat one night, dancing and doing our thing. Then I decided that I wanted to find someone to make out with. So we went upstairs from the basement because I thought I saw cute boys on the main floor (I was wasted at this point in the night, by the way). We were standing in a room where guys were playing beer pong, and I saw a guy sitting on a big, reclinable chair. I decided that he was going to be the guy. Let’s call him Jake.

“Okay, I’m gonna go over to him,” I said to my friends. I chugged the rest of my beer, handed my empty can to my friend, and waltzed my way over to him. Then I plopped my ass down on his lap and introduced myself. I could tell he was a big guy, tall and broad. He had dark hair and dark scruffy facial hair. He had a Jewish-looking face, which is one of the reasons I was attracted to him.

“Are you Jewish?” I asked him.

“Yeah, how could you tell?” he asked. Guess what I did. I booped his nose. I fucking took my finger and went like “boop” to his nose. It was funny at the time, and I feel like only another Jew could do that to a fellow Jew. We talked for a little and made out for a little on the chair with everyone around us. I feel like that’s part of the fun.

Then he asked me if I wanted to go upstairs and smoke with him, since he lived in the frat house. Of course I wanted to smoke weed with a cute junior frat boy in his bedroom, so I went with him. We were sitting on his bed smoking bong, when I heard my friends yelling my name. I heard them getting closer and closer as they were checking for me upstairs.

“Those are my friends; I have to tell them I’m okay,” I told Jake. I opened the door and saw my friends looking for me.

“Who is this boy? We’re not leaving without you!” my friends said to me. I kept telling them I was fine, and Jake even said he could drive me home in the morning (a little presumptuous, but it happened so…). Then my friend said, “Listen hear, Jew boy! You better be good!” Then they left. It was pretty embarrassing, but it was pretty funny, too. I love my friends.

So we smoked some more and then made out some more and one thing led to another that led to another and we were boning. It didn’t hurt this time, which was good. Or maybe I was just too drunk and high to feel any pain. But it was good sex, and I was happy it wasn’t with a douche bag this time.

The next morning, I woke up in his shirt and used their lovely no-toilet-paper-no-soap-no-lock-on-the-door bathroom. It was a Sunday morning, so we slept in and took our time. I got dressed, and he drove me home. He even mentioned getting breakfast together in the future, which, to this day, we have never done. He dropped me off at my dorm with a kiss goodbye and a “I’ll text you”. And that was that.

And he actually did text me, and we talked all day on Monday, and I went over his house again on Tuesday. I guess you would consider us “fuck-buddies” now, since we’ve boned a good handful of times since then, and we are very clearly not dating. He’s a junior and he’s in a frat, I don’t think he wants a girlfriend. And if he did, he wouldn’t want to be dating a freshman. I’m cool with it though; I don’t think we get along that well. He’s kind of pretentious, and he talks about himself a lot. But he’s really cute, and I always like hanging out with him.

The morning I woke up in his bed, I realized how special college is. I would not have been able to spend a night with a guy I had just met if I was at home. If you think about it, I met and fucked this guy within like 2 hours. That doesn’t really happen anywhere else, other than college. My mom would be appalled if she knew I literally fucked a guy I had just met, but hey, that’s why I went off to college anyway. She still thinks I’m a virgin. Anyway, college is adulthood without the job and the bills and the taxes. College is all the good parts of adulthood: the freedom. It feels so good to be finally able to make my own decisions and not worry about being home for curfew or whatever. And my independence only increases from here.


Oh So College


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